Sunday, September 26, 2004
Spite Club is a game.
Loser pays the winner's bar tab.
There are three rounds: Insult round, trivia round, and freestyle round (wherein you have five minutes of stage time to do whatever you want to entertain the crowd, just not your standard standup act).
I went against Zach Muhn, a guy who was beaten in an earlier Spite Club round by Alan Metoskie, a friend of his who has so much body hair, he was able to shave Zach's name into his chest, talk for five minutes about how it was wrong that he and Zach had to put each other down, because they're best friends, only to turn around to show he had the word "Sucks" shaven into his back. "Zach... Sucks."
How do you top that?
By stripping off your shirt and telling the audience that Jamie Bush and Anna Hyde are about to wax your back on stage.
Jamie is a cosmetology student at Baldwin Beauty Academy. Anna is an aesthetician at Salon 505.
Both are trained professionals (or, in Jamie's case, professionals in training) who were willing to do this for free.
Do not attempt this stunt at home.
(Note that nasty pink rectangle of discolored flesh on the right. That was Anna's doing.)
I gotta hand it to Zach: He's a smart, funny guy.
Although he lost his first round of Spite Club, his performance against Alan, show host John Rabon included him in the tournament because he gave a strong performance. He trounced me in both insults and trivia, but I carried the freestyle round, worth half the show. After all this, the audience still liked Zach better than me, applause for him edging me out by a hair. So now he moves forward in the Spite Club tournament, and has to defend himself against seven-year comedy veterans. I escape taking that sort of beating.
Also, Zach was gentleman enough to buy his own damn beer.
John beside himself as he asked for audience applause over who had the best freestyle round. Every time he looked at me he kept saying, "Jesus Christ, what kind of monster have I created?"
If you ever really want to freak people out, do something that kinda hurts, but doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it looks. The sensation was kinda like being pinched repeatedly for five minutes. All the excess wax washed off the next day, and no further complications arose.
A comic friend of mine who was sitting in the front row told me that during the show, he overheard someone behind him saying, "I can't believe I'm watching this."
After the show, John was overheard saying, "Damn it! The best Spite Clubs always go untaped!"
He apparently forgot his camera again.
But my roommate took pictures. Blogger won't allow me to directly upload photos, so as soon as I have space on the web I'll post them.
Loser pays the winner's bar tab.
There are three rounds: Insult round, trivia round, and freestyle round (wherein you have five minutes of stage time to do whatever you want to entertain the crowd, just not your standard standup act).
I went against Zach Muhn, a guy who was beaten in an earlier Spite Club round by Alan Metoskie, a friend of his who has so much body hair, he was able to shave Zach's name into his chest, talk for five minutes about how it was wrong that he and Zach had to put each other down, because they're best friends, only to turn around to show he had the word "Sucks" shaven into his back. "Zach... Sucks."
How do you top that?
By stripping off your shirt and telling the audience that Jamie Bush and Anna Hyde are about to wax your back on stage.
Jamie is a cosmetology student at Baldwin Beauty Academy. Anna is an aesthetician at Salon 505.
Both are trained professionals (or, in Jamie's case, professionals in training) who were willing to do this for free.
Do not attempt this stunt at home.
(Note that nasty pink rectangle of discolored flesh on the right. That was Anna's doing.)
I gotta hand it to Zach: He's a smart, funny guy.
Although he lost his first round of Spite Club, his performance against Alan, show host John Rabon included him in the tournament because he gave a strong performance. He trounced me in both insults and trivia, but I carried the freestyle round, worth half the show. After all this, the audience still liked Zach better than me, applause for him edging me out by a hair. So now he moves forward in the Spite Club tournament, and has to defend himself against seven-year comedy veterans. I escape taking that sort of beating.
Also, Zach was gentleman enough to buy his own damn beer.
John beside himself as he asked for audience applause over who had the best freestyle round. Every time he looked at me he kept saying, "Jesus Christ, what kind of monster have I created?"
If you ever really want to freak people out, do something that kinda hurts, but doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it looks. The sensation was kinda like being pinched repeatedly for five minutes. All the excess wax washed off the next day, and no further complications arose.
A comic friend of mine who was sitting in the front row told me that during the show, he overheard someone behind him saying, "I can't believe I'm watching this."
After the show, John was overheard saying, "Damn it! The best Spite Clubs always go untaped!"
He apparently forgot his camera again.
But my roommate took pictures. Blogger won't allow me to directly upload photos, so as soon as I have space on the web I'll post them.
